08:27PM, Friday 12 May 2017
A candidate who describes himself as an 'intergalactic space lord' will be standing against Theresa May in the general election.
Lord Buckethead, aged, well we don’t know, and from, well we’re not entirely sure - though his registration papers state an address in Hornsey and Wood Green - is hoping to become Maidenhead’s new MP.
In a short interview, he told the Maidenhead Advertise that if elected, he plans to scrap the third runway and bring back Ceefax.
Why did you choose to stand in the election?
LB: Did I choose to stand in the election? You might say I was compelled. I intercepted countless earth transmissions complaining that your country currently lacks effective opposition. Nature abhors a vacuum, so here I am.
Do you have any connection to the Lord Buckethead who stood in the '87 election against Margaret Thatcher?
LB: I am Buckethead. We are Buckethead. We are legion.
Can you tell me about yourself?
What are some of your key policies?
LB: A full suite of policies will be rolled out in the coming weeks. You would not expect a gremloid to reveal his full package in advance of the manifesto launch. However, I am prepared to offer you some flagship 2017 pledges by way of an exclusive for the Maidenhead Advertiser:
- Abolition of the Lords (except me)
- Full facial coverings to be kept legal
- No third runway at Heathrow (where we're going, we don't need runways)
- Bring back Ceefax
- Regeneration of Nicholsons Shopping Centre
Do you think you stand a chance against Theresa May?
LB: Buckethead is the only candidate who directly stood against Margaret Thatcher in 1987 and John Major in 1992. And where are they now? Where. Are. They. Now? Genuinely. I'm keen to know. I've been living in hyperspace.
It is now 25 years later and time for Buckethead's return, to face down a hat-trick of Conservative Prime Ministers.
Do I have a chance? I ask the good people of Maidenhead to embrace the spirit of the phenomenon you seem to call 'Boaty McBoatface' and unite with me in a spirit of jocular good will to at best bring down the head of your government, or at least bring back my £500 deposit.
Will you be doing any campaigning in Maidenhead?
LB: The cloaking device on my ship is malfunctioning and your trains need serious improvement, but if either of these things can be fixed then Buckethead may appear. You'll know if I appear. I'll be the one with the big bucket on his head.
The general election takes place on Thursday, June 8.
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