Pan’s People dancer from Cookham publishes 'visceral' memoir on stardom

A member of Pan’s People and longtime Cookham resident says publishing her memoir ‘wasn’t a planned thing but felt right at the time’.

Liane ‘Lee’ Drake shot to fame as part of the iconic all-female dance troupe under the global limelight of BBC’s Top of the Pops in the 1970s.

Her ‘visceral’ account as a starlet from Yorkshire is told in Pan’s People: The Lee Ward Story, which also shares her ‘silent battles behind closed doors’.

Battling abuse, addiction and betrayal, Lee has shared an honest and raw account of navigating childhood isolation and tumultuous marriage, to the pressures of international stardom, and a descent into substance dependence.

Writing her story of resilience and the ‘true cost of fame’ has been a healing process, and the ‘cathartic’ experience has involved reliving traumatic periods of her life.

Still, it has also made the 70-year-old realise how far she has come and how much her life has changed.

“I looked back at my life, and thought there must be a reason for this, and I’m going to put pen to paper,” Lee told the Advertiser.

“It was as much a healing thing for myself as well as putting it down to help other people. To not put it down would actually be quite selfish of me.

“The change came when I admitted what I was, an alcoholic and at that time a drug user, and that was a very freeing, very liberating period of my life.

“Giving up or giving in, these things don’t enter my vocabulary these days.

“The main thing people take away from the book is that no matter what is thrown at you in life, you do have the ability to get through.

“It’s a journey that you never finish, and it’s the most incredible journey to be on.”

Lee moved from Harrogate to Bray when she was 12, lived in Taplow, but spent most of her years in Cookham.

“The place never changes. It’s such a characterful place. Very trendy. A haven for showbiz people,” said Lee.

She also recalled spectating at a ‘showbiz cricket match’ at Maidenhead and Bray Cricket Club and having a drink with Mike Parkinson and Oliver Reed.

“I can’t remember a time since when it’s been that pleasant to go out on a Saturday night and rub shoulders with people who were well known. It was a lovely time,” she added.

Writing about Pan’s People was difficult for Lee because she finds it ‘hard to put into words how wonderful it actually was’.

It was also a ‘very sad time’ when the group disbanded in the 1980s, but her book is ‘all about change’.

“Writing the dark stuff was tough – there was a lot of it, so it seems to be a lot of the focus – but I’m hoping that out of it has come a recovery process,” she said.

“Every single thing that’s happened in my life has been a tremendous gift and learning experience.”

She has received an ‘amazing’ response to her memoir since its publication on October 15, and said readers can expect ‘some uncomfortable parts’ but also ‘a lot of happiness, joy and good stuff’.

“It’s scary to realise so many people have been through similar things that I describe in my book,” she added.

“If it goes anywhere to helping somebody somewhere, then that’s wonderful; it will have all been worth it then.”

The reception from her daughters, Anaka, Saskia and Bethany has been ‘mixed’ but Lee understands it’s ‘hard to read for them’.

“They understand why I wrote it, and whilst they may not understand everything I talk about yet, there’ll come a time when maybe they’ll be able to pick it up and relate to something in there,” she said.

Lee knows her late husband of 35 years, Chris Drake, who passed away in 2021, was her ‘best critic’ and none of the content would have shocked him.

“He would have been happy with how it turned out. He would have said well done for writing it; it took a bit of bravery,” said Lee.

“He knew about my past. I had no secrets from him, but one of the reasons for my writing was a testament to him and to show my gratitude to him, and what a wonderful period of my life that was.”