The pressures of being a Modern Day Mum

Can Mums really ‘have it all’? Buyagift.com asked women how they cope with the pressures of being a modern day Mum

With Mother’s day approaching, it’s a time to reflect on our Mums and everything they do for us. Women these days are often told they can ‘have it all’, so the website wanted to find out about the daily pressures of being a modern mum by asking them how they feel and how they cope with juggling everything Motherhood entails today.

Out of more than 800 women surveyed, most of the women with children today are in work, and with the recent news that stay at home Mums are at a historic low, with only one in 10 mums staying at home to raise their children, it is easy to understand why, as many women face financial pressures that force them to go back into work.

Most of the women surveyed (68%) feel pressured to go back to work after maternity leave due to financial reasons, with 67% of women stating that they have suffered financial problems since becoming a Mum, and 27% of women have or might have to cut short maternity leave due to financial pressures.

Since becoming a Mum 74% of women said their monthly outgoings have gone up more than £100 a month since having children, half of women (49%) said it’s gone up £200 or more a month and 10% said their monthly outgoings have gone up more than £500 a month.

Just under half of women did not own their house before having children and over half (58%) say they were not in a position to save before having children.

When asked if they could change one thing about being a Mum, out of the choices given the majority of women (46%) said they wish they did not have to worry about financial concerns.

Despite 62% of women who have children currently having to work (full and part-time), 38% of women said they would rather be a stay-at-home Mum, and 54% said if they had the choice they would work part-time, which suggests just over half of Mums would like to balance a career and Motherhood.  Over half of Mums (51%) say they worry they won’t be able to achieve as much in their career as they would like after having children.

It’s not easy for working Mother’s today, 65% of women who work feel guilty for leaving work early to pick up their children if needed, 35% of women said their boss does not allow flexible working, and the majority of women who work (76%) feel guilty for leaving their children.

Mums today do feel that they get support, 76% of mums say they feel supported by friends and family, with over half (56%) saying apart from their partner they receive the most help from their own Mum - another reason to thank Mums this Mother’s day! Despite this support, a worrying 80% of women feel lonely as a Mum.

It seems most women feel unprepared for Motherhood, with 60% of women saying they were not prepared, and the most unprepared aspect was the emotional strain.  When asked what they felt had suffered the most since having children, the majority of women felt their relationship with their partner had suffered.

The biggest concerns that modern Mums face today are not being able to pay the bills, protecting their children from drugs and violence, and their children eating healthily and getting enough exercise.

Mums feel extra outside pressure from others, as 63% of women feel judged as a parent, with the majority (65%) saying this is from other Mums. But are Mums also putting pressure on themselves? 78% of Mums say they put pressure on themselves to achieve everything, and over half of Mums (59%) don’t actually think it is possible to ‘have it all’.

Over half (52%) of Mums today compare their parenting skills to their own Mother’s; however the majority (73%) feel that Mums today have more to worry about than in the past.

Over half of Mums (54%) say they rarely or never get time for themselves and some even compromise their own health with 45% of women saying they have health concerns but don’t find time to go to the doctor.

When Mums do find time to relax, most mums do this by watching TV, going on the Internet and going on social media platforms, which shows that today people are using social media as a modern form of relaxation and people don’t ever truly switch off.

Despite all of these struggles, it seems most women wouldn’t change being a Mum for the world with nearly all mums, a huge 96% say they find being a mum rewarding, making all the stresses and strains worth it.