Frustrated bosses and crews at South Central Ambulance Service (SCAS) want to stamp out abuse of the 999 system which saw them receive 1,235 hoax calls last year.
They were also faced with a deluge of absurd requests including changing of light bulbs, providing lifts home, fixing TV remote controls and attending to pets.
The service is highlighting the scale of the problem to make time wasters think twice - and warned lives are being put at risk by people without a genuine emergency calling 999.
People with non life-threatening health issues are advised to contact their GP, NHS Direct, walk in centres or other out of hours health services.
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The victim of an assault in Cippenham was flown to hospital by air ambulance this afternoon.
A rapid response vehicle, an ambulance officer, an air ambulance and an ambulance crew were all called to an address in Earls Lane at 2.10pm.