I hate all these magazine articles and TV programmes about ‘How to Plan the Perfect Christmas’.

As far as I’m concerned they’re touting the unattainable.

Yet they seem to have an insidious effect. My computer is bursting with lists – Christmas card recipients, address labels, food shopping lists, and present lists stretching back years to avoid giving the same gift twice.

Chipolatas are stashed in the freezer, while nuts, chocolates and crackers are accumulating in the garage. I’ve made Christmas cakes, ordered my turkey, bought cards and stamps and there’s a basket of potential presents (bought throughout the year) hidden in the wardrobe.

But when I start allocating gifts to recipients I usually find I have six suitable presents for one person and not a thing for three others.

More shopping is required and the basket contents grow alarmingly, so that after Christmas I’ve as many things left as I’ve given away.

Granted, some will be useful for birthdays or even next Christmas (!) but the sad truth is that, after purchases like the naff ‘gardener’s gift set’ bought in a fit of idiocy and ‘terribly clever’ (probably from Lakeland) gadgets that nobody needs have languished there for several years, I give in and take them to a charity shop.

As for food and nibbles, I easily forget what I’ve already bought, or panic that I haven’t enough and buy more of the same to add to the escalating mountain. There’s never enough room in the freezer so I’m forced to eat up other contents, which is not good for my waistline.

Inevitably I pile on more pounds over Christmas and then gain even more weight in January, as obviously I have to consume all the leftover chocolate and nuts!

Warning: Being prepared for the perfect Christmas is bad for your health – and pocket.